omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize