the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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