i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
