i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
