It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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