Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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