fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Sponge bath it is.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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