end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
