Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
