If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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