that's an acceptable place to lick
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
