It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
tonight lets celebrate not being married
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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