Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize