Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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