yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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