how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
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they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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