Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's never too late to be topless.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
