Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This house was built for laser tag.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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