remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
