Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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