i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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