idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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