The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
