I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
