she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
