if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.