Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
