so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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