Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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