can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
