You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You left your phone here
Wait...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
