Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
