so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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