He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
