wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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