Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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