is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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