I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
