Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
