3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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