I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
