omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
