We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
