She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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