Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
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I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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