I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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