I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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