This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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