No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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