He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
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This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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