I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
