i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
