she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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