Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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