rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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