Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm passing your future prison.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
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She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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