I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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