we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
