just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
