So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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